I love my phone. I love what I can do with it. I love how it can open up the digital world to me for entertainment, learning and utility.
But, just like your favourite food, too much of it can make you sick.
As renowned clinical psychologist, Jordan Peterson, starkly explains: “You better be smart enough to use your phone. And that’s pretty damn smart. That’s no trivial gadget. If you’re not careful with it, it will turn on you. You better be wise enough to wield it.”
For me, the first – and most obvious step – is setting boundaries. Remember the old adage ‘moderation is the only rule for a healthy life’.
The topic has been on my mind now for quite a while and, in a burst of synchronicity, the last podcast I listened to broached this very subject.
It was Jay Shetty’s excellent ‘On Purpose’ as he called for people to adopt a “foundational set of habits” to ensure a healthy life and a healthy relationship with technology.
He pointed to the fact that studies show 80% of us wake up to our phones first thing in the morning.
As he says: “We see our phones before we see our partners and our kids. So our phones get more time than the people we love.”
That “foundational set of habits” he talks of resonates with me because I’ve made changes to my mobile use in order to curtail my time on the phone to connect more deeply with loved ones and also truly enjoy the magnificent world around me.
I had a frustrating moment where I was chatting to a friend and, after I’d made my point in a discussion, they started giving their opinion and I almost reached for my phone to start scrolling.
Thankfully, I had the foresight to catch myself – and it was that incident that sparked my newfound approach to device usage, as I spell out below.
In what renowned author, Johann Hari calls “pre commitment” in his excellent new book ‘Stolen Attention’, I’ve taken small steps but they’ve created more ‘space, sense and sociability’ in me.
PB’s new phone rules
– Charging it overnight in the lounge
– No use at mealtimes
– Turn off all notifications
No use at mealtimes ensures better communication with my partner while turning off all notifications has stopped the constant distraction you get with the ‘ping, ping, ping’ effect.
But the key one for so many people, in my opinion, is not taking your phone into your bedroom when you’re ready for sleep – and therefore not being able to reach for it, like a crutch, when you wake up.
It’s about creating that digital detox environment where you can recharge your body fully through a good night’s sleep.
But it’s also about starting your day on the front foot, as spiritual guru Shetty talks about in his podcast, when he tells his listeners: “I do think when you wake up to the phone in the morning, you wake up to notifications, negativity, news and noise.
“These four things make you feel like you’re starting your day at the bottom of the ladder and you’re then spending the rest of your day catching up to yourself.
“But if your day started with four key habits of thankfulness, inspiration, meditation and exercise, you’re now starting your day at a plus four. So even if the rest of your day is challenging, you still end up at a plus two.
“So it’s about saying ‘what are the habits I can practice today that can make me feel like my day is going in the right direction?’”
It’s simple to understand conceptually but not as easy to action practically.
But, trust me, the changes I’ve experienced from altering my relationship with my phone – and showing it who’s boss – have been profound.
Paul Brown 